Recently, I had a very humiliating experience when I faced the prospect of completing a project that I felt totally untrained for and lacked any real interest in doing. I desired the end result but the journey to get there was stressful.
I found myself reflecting over the two roles of student and teacher that, of course, have been a big part of my life forever. I actually have a strong interest in learning new skills but the learning curve has often been a battle. I wonder how often I missed out in life because of perceived obstacles that I allowed to hinder my learning.
I am in the teacher role daily in my work as a hospice nurse. My role includes assisting patients and their families in achieving quality of life in the days they are blessed to be here. They often are totally overwhelmed by what they face each day and the constant changes that occur.
With the resistance I felt in developing a project that I felt totally unprepared for, I can definitely relate to the position patients and families find themselves in.
Through the many years of studying with my Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, the issue of my resistance has frequently been addressed. As I become stronger in facing my own weaknesses, I now can recognize resistance as a gift. When it shows up, I recognize a signal I can respond to differently and benefit and grow from.
I give full appreciation for this current experience. I will give far more attention to how I function personally day by day as I interact with others and myself in learning new skills.
